Falling and failing...

ARRRGGGGHHHH!!!  I am so frustrated with myself!  I wanted to be so faithful to this blog and my followers and to this process, but I feel I am completely failing at all of it!  I was talking to a good friend of mine this morning, we both have the same mindset about commitment and the precious time we have.  I commented to her that lately I had been hanging back before committing to something, because it seems I have been saying 'yes' to something and then not following through and I can't stand that!!!!  It is a very annoying quality in others and I really don't like doing that in my life.  So when I commit, I COM-MIT!  which is why my lack of blogging and caring for myself has once again slid right to the back.

And when I say back, I don't mean back burner, I mean literally to my back!  I generally carry my stress in my shoulders and my neck and it seems to have crept back in and landed me in urgent care with my neck and arms in some sort of pretzel looking stance.  So back to PT I head and back to feeling sorry for myself, which leads to my non-committal self.....

I have to make some steps forward, for myself and for my family.  Yesterday was the 5th anniversary of my husband's heart attack and it just stunned me that it feels like in five years we haven't made any changes to our lives!  And that scares the sh!t out of me!  My husband almost DIED and yet what have I done to change anything?  My best friend's husband DIED because of a weight-related issue and what have I done?  I am tired of falling and tired of failing.  So for today, I may crawl in a corner and ponder what to do next.... But tomorrow I need to make the commitment to change a sincere commitment.   Tomorrow I will be hoping and changing.

Peace~
Melinda