You’ll have to pardon my absence from writing as of late. I have been overwhelmed with so many of the things in life that can pull at the fibers of your sanity and soul. And I hate to dump all of that into my writing. I want to be able to find peace in my writing and seek out answers through the process. Not just bitch and moan about my overflowing to-do list. But after last week a dear friend, one whom I admire greatly, always have, told me that perhaps I needed some “blog therapy”. She was probably right. It does help me move away from the daily stressors of my life and delve into the meat of what I am seeking.
On that note, I have been having many discussions with good friends, my husband and myself about how we perceive our bodies. I am concerned that we start at a young age with our self-loathing. I remember when I was 12 my best friend and I decided we needed to go to Weight Watchers! We were TWELVE! Part of the reason we decided to go is that we were receiving some messages from our Mothers about our weight. I know that our Mothers each loved us deeply and only wanted the best for our health. But we were both very tall girls, and were built more like our fathers. My own Mother is 5’5” and weighed about 110 lbs when she married my Dad at 22. I, on the other hand was 5’5” by the time I was 13 and was already wearing a bra with a cup size bigger than my Mother. So in her own way, she thought I was overweight, but truly I was not.
So for me the self-loathing began in middle school and when I look back at the pictures of that young girl I ache for how much she hated the way she looked. I have a friend who used to teach middle school and has told me many stories about the girls she taught not wanting to each lunch in front of the boys. How incredibly tragic.
When I think about my body and even though it is not in the shape or size I would like, I need to be so very, very grateful for all that it has done and does everyday. First of all I look at the birth of my sweet daughter and how absolutely gorgeous she was and still is. And I remember my Mom holding her and telling me that she was almost as beautiful as I was. I was a child that was adored by my parents and grandparents. I was a healthy child, adolescent and mostly adult. I will admit that I feel my body has betrayed me at times, which frustrates me, but is part of life.
I have developed a thank you note for my body and all that it has given me. A brain that helped me learn and go to college, a drive and ambition to graduate In 3 ½ years. Beautiful hair, eyes and a big smile that got the attention of my husband. A reproductive system that helped conceive two children, a uterus that nourished and kept my babies safe for 9 months. An immune system that healed my body from two c-sections. Two arms that held and loved my babies, lips to give them many kisses, legs to walk and sway to rock those babies to sleep. Hands to brush their little teeth and hair and a voice to sing to them, laugh with them and tell them every day how much I love them. And now a drive and desire to return to school and pursue a dream. And the creativity and the ability to put my thoughts into words.
So thank you body. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Peace-
Melinda
4 comments:
Thanks for leaving me with tears in my eyes and touching my heart. I was also given some poor images of myself from my own mother's commentary throughout grade school and high school, and the words are still strong and clear in my mind. It is my mission every day to appreciate and be thankful for this body, as I try to overpower those negative words in my mind. More importantly, I do everything in my power each day to make my daughter feel confident in herself in every way. We always talk about her healthy, strong body, as well as her intelligence and abilities in all that she does each day. We tell her how much we love her, as well as what a gift from God she is to our family. I want her to soar through life without concern for negativity that others may push her way. I think that as moms of daughters, we should all strive for that, and you have just reminded me of why and reinforced my goals. THANK YOU, Thank YOU, thank you. (Obviously, we do the same for our sons, but it is different.)
I am so touched that I could help you today! It is so important to remember to teach our daughters to love themselves and also teach ourselves to love ourselves! We have been made in God's image and that is perfection!
Well said Mel and as for the mother of two boys - I am teaching them that everyone is beautiful no matter what they look like. I want my sons to be the ones Mother's want for their daughters.
To those who have daughters I pray for you because I feel that is harder in this day and age to raise a self confident woman due to all the outside influences.
I love the idea of a thank you note to your body--I will try it!
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