Again, why?

I have always been a writer, which would be why I had planned on becoming a journalist in my younger days. I had passed on that career, when I turned down an interview with NPR when I was only 22. Partly because I thought I would be compromising my own set of ethics by being part of the "media". The year I had graduated from college was the same year as the OJ Simpson trial and the Oklahoma City bombing. It was very devastating to me to watch the media distort so many things about OJ's trial- did we really need to hear a critique of the lead prosecutor's hair? Why did that matter to the public? And to watch OJ parade around and become even more of a celebrity, while the media just lapped it up, was even more stomach turning. So it was hard for me to turn away from writing. I personally feel God had his hand in creating blogs so that those of who have that inner novelist can get it out in a somewhat public forum.

Anyway- long way to go about saying that I am loving being able to write a blog. Writing has always been an emotional outlet and also I have this section of my brain that I stack ideas in and if I don't get them out, they will get lost in the muddle of my life. So I find inspiration and ideas absolutely everywhere, I am that person who gets up in the middle of the night and writes ideas down on a kleenex box or on my backberry at a stoplight. At home my laptop is not far from me, because I never know what will spark an idea.

Like this morning, I just got up and turned the tv on to see a morning show interviewing Barbra Streisand. I LOVE her! She is an amazing woman and doesn't compromise or apologize for herself, she is authentic and I love and appreciate authentic people. One question that was asked by the reporter was why she felt the need to be such a perfectionist. Babs asked her (I am paraphrasing)- "why do you ask that in such a judgemental way? A man would never be asked that, but when women strive for the best, for perfection in their work or life, they are considered a pain in the ass!" THANK YOU!

I often feel like I have to apologize for myself, apologize for giving something my all. And it's not just me! Last weekend I was sitting and waiting for my hair stylist to finish up with the woman before me. She works in one of those buildings that has a small salon rooms rented by people offering different types of hair/spa services. Anyway, as I was sitting there a woman walked past me and I noticed that she was wearing a black pool cover up, that was belted at her waist, her hair was pulled back by a headband and she was tan and I thought looked very pretty. She found the room she was looking for and began talking to her stylist, who told her that she would still be about 10 mins and the woman said she would run down to her car to grab something. As she turned to walk out, she remarked to her stylist "I am so sorry about the way I look, we just came from the pool" and her stylist (who also looked quite pretty) said "oh don't worry about it, you look fine! I look awful- it's hot in here and I have been so busy today!"  Here are two women who look absolutely perfect in whatever state they are currently in- so why on earth are they apologizing?

How often do you find yourself saying the exact same thing? I know I do! I have been so busy lately beginning school, getting my son (who has autism) ready for 3rd grade, working, and attending to my own classes that I am often seen in a baseball hat or with zero makeup. Even despite my reason- why should I apologize for doing what I need to do to exist in this world? Baseball hat or no makeup- does that make me any less valuable? It may not be the way I would prefer to look, but it does not negate who I am?

And it's not just the way we look either. I hear women apologize for everything!  Which brings me back to my original point and the fact that I apologize for giving things that I feel passionate about my all.  I am very organized and my life works better when I have things prepared ahead of time. My husband always tells me that my expectations are too high for other people.  Maybe they are, maybe the standards I have for myself aren't what others have for themselves.  That is fine, but I am not going to apologize for the standards I have set for myself.  I have really come into these standards recently, I will admit that I tried for years to to be seen as laid back and relaxed and in some areas I am, but once I embraced the way I work the best, life got a whole lot less complicated! 

I am me.  That is all I have been given and I need, WE need to stop apologizing and just be authentic and honest.

Have a beautiful Sunday!
Peace~
Melinda